Traffic

I have a friend in LA who does traffic at a local TV station. What that means is, he handles the commercials. For one thing, he schedules them. You know how those somber Memorial Day segments on the news are always followed by quiet, gentle ads instead of Mountain Dew? Thank the traffic people for that.

I don't know whether it was deliberate, but if it was, there was a great bit of traffic art tonight on "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles." A teenage girl who's been turned into a hardened warrior against the terminators by a few harrowing months on the run slapped a clip into her pistol and pulled back the slide, ch-chunk! A second later, Jane Seymour started talking about her "Open Hearts Collection" at Kay Jewelers.

"If your heart is open, love will find its way in!" Jane said.

On the other hand, if a cyborg is after you, your best bet is to keep the door closed and wire up the knob with a high-voltage line that'll fry the robot's chip. Then you can make a cup of tea and paint little watercolor hearts.